high school stuff
by cortez30
Summary: this is just a bunch of random stuff that happens in highschool the plot is basically kyles gay stan and wendys sex life is stale and kevin and lola are just starting out in there relationship co writer is RatherOddRanger
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 gossip and shit

Rated M for language and sex

Disclaimer I don't own south park or anything like that

This is a story that is written by cortez30 and is co written by RatherOddRanger it takes place 1 month after trek love and basically is high school in a nutshell with some drama mixed in it will start out slow but we will find a plot that works be patient and enjoy

Our story begins in lunch Lola Bebe and Wendy are eating lunch by them selves and chatting about the daily gossip they heard typical girl talk.

"So did you see what tiffany was wearing eww" said Bebe

"Well I didn't think it was THAT BAD I mean orange is cute," said Lola

"Yeah well only if you have the hair for it but she doesn't" said Bebe

"Hey did you get invited too jenny and petes wedding" asked Wendy

"Yeah sad about jenny's dad having cancer and that they think he wont live till Christmas" said Bebe

"Yeah hopefully they will be happy forever I mean were only juniors right" said Lola

"Says the girl who screwed on the first date at a sci-fi convention," said Bebe

"Yeah haha man sometimes I wish Kevin was a little smaller you know I mean shit I almost choked last night" said Lola

"Haha man that sounds hot" said Bebe

"Oh my god did you hear Annie's pregnant" said Red

Red is the random girl of the group no one remembers her much but she has made a name for herself by being the town whore.

"Aww poor Annie maybe we should talk too her" said Wendy

Meanwhile the guys are having a similar conversation at the table next too them. Here we have Stan Kyle Kenny and Kevin all discussing stuff.

''I'm kind of worried, Lola started gagging last night.'' Said a worried Kevin.

Kenny raises an eyebrow. ''Dude, when a chick gags and lets out a BIG old spit on your cock during a BJ that's hot.''

''Nah Kevin's right, I'd be terrified if I hurt Wendy like that.'' Goes Stan.

''Do you think we should talk to DB? He looks so worried about Annie.'' Asks Kyle.

''I would be too, he and I buy our condoms from the same store!'' Remarks Kenny.

"Yeah it must suck finding out your girlfriend is pregnant and then his parents freaking out about it" said Kevin

Flashback

The location is douche bags house (AKA dovavitch but who give 2 shits about that) where Annie and DB just told his parents about the pregnancy.

''OMG Annie has to move in now! OMG I'm going to be a grandmother! I've always wanted a 2nd child!''

And his dad replies ''Yeah thanks to the Government black ops bullshit we never really find the time... Great better get used to smelly diapers again...''

''STOP BEING A ASSHOLE TO OUR SON AND FUTURE DAUGHTER IN LAW'' DB mom screams before hugging Annie.

''O Annie I'm so happy you're going to marry our son.'' She says.

''What?'' Says Annie.

''I didn't realize my mom was baby crazy.'' Replies DB.

"Oh god I don't think I am ready for marriage Mrs. …hey DB what is your last name?" asked Annie.

"Uh…. hmm I don't know hey mom dad do we have a last name" asked DB

"Yes it…"

End of Flashback

After lunch Stan and Kyle head too 4th period the last class of the day when Stan asks Kyle an important question.

"Your not sexually attracted too me are you" asked Stan

"DUDE WHAT" yelled Kyle

"I just thought sense you came out that you had a reason and that maybe you were attracted too someone in the school" said Stan

"Well Stan as hot as you are you are like a brother too me so no I am not sexually attractive too you so please never mention this again before I throw up ok thank you" said Kyle.

After school Stan headed home and the girls all hung out at the mall

" Hey bebe any advice on sex" asked Wendy

"Cause I feel me and Stan in bed has gotten bland" said Wendy.

''Keep it creative.'' Replies Bebe.

''It's just ... does it count as cheating if I screw a girl?'' Asks Wendy.

''I wouldn't say no to one night of hot lesbian sex.'' Replies Lola.

''Actually.'' Begins Bebe. ''What you should do is lesbian 69 and then have your boyfriends fuck you whilst you're licking the other girls pussy.''

''... So technically I would be giving Kevin a BJ?'' Asks Wendy.

''Technically yes.'' Replies Bebe.

Lola and Wendy stare at each other until Lola speaks up. ''I'm cool with it as long as Stan only sticks it in you, no offense but I want to know my babies daddy just in case I get knocked up.''

The girls all stared at each other and busted up laughing

"Are we gay" asked Wendy

"No I think the term is Bi and its just experimenting I mean hell before Kevin me and my out of town friend experimented all the time," said Lola

"Really" said Bebe

"Yeah it feels weird at first but its amazing after awhile" said Lola

"Yeah cause I have been pretty curious after me and Bebe kissed at tokens party last month" said Wendy.

"Hehe it was a nice kiss huh" said Bebe.

"Ok tomorrow we let our men know we want a 4 way damnit," said Lola.

"Hey maybe we should try and hook up Kyle with a nice guy" said Wendy

Too be continued

This story isn't some ground breaking drama or anything its mostly smut and comedy yeah maybe we can throw in a crazy plot twist or something but for now its just for fun while red crow is in the brainstorm

Remember thank ranger for this as well cause he helped


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 when girls get too work

Rated M for Language and sex

Warning some Lemon not much but some

Disclaimer I don't own south park cause I am a loser haha

We are back in school now when the girls are discussing who can be a good man for Kyle instead of actually participating in gym like stereotypical girls they come up with a few ideas.

"So how about tweek bet all that extra energy could come in handy," said Bebe

"Is that all you think about is sex" asked Wendy.

"No Wendy I think about a lot of other stuff like college and other stuff I just use sex as a stress reliever" said Bebe

"Well you have been under a lot of stress," said Lola.

They all started laughing when they saw Annie being attacked by cartman with baby bottles…and I didn't help that all the girls kept calling her whore.

"Hey how's the baby whore I bet you will strip for petty cash?" said Nichole

"Haha you are going too be so fat," said Sally

"I bet douche bag is going too wish he never been with you" said Cartman

Annie was in tears regretting ever coming too school and also she felt like a total slut when Wendy came in and decked cartman in the face and the other girls ran off.

"You ok Annie" asked Lola.

"No I am a slut and I will be a single mother cause I know DB wont want anything too do with me sense I am pregnant" cried Annie.

"Hey don't listen too those bitches ok DB loves you and he wont leave you cause its not in his nature too leave someone for shallow reasons like parenthood" said Bebe.

"Uhh Bebe your top is down" said Wendy.

It appears Bebe forgot too tie up her shirt in the back cause her boobs were hanging out for the school too see.

"Damn Bebe they are huge," said token.

"Go away pervert," yelled Lola.

"So you really think DB will stay with me," asked Annie.

"Yes he will cause he loves you your just having hormone problems cause of the pregnancy" said Lola.

10 minutes later after they calmed Annie down

"So Annie tell these girls that tweek would be a perfect piece of arm candy for Kyle" said Bebe.

"I don't know he is still an emotional wreck after he broke up with Craig" said Annie

"CRAIG" said all 3 girls.

"Hes perfect" said Lola

"Yeah Hes a nice guy well sometimes but he is one of the only gay guys in this school who listens" said Wendy.

"Yeah and Kyle talks A LOT" said Bebe.

"Ok then its agreed we spread a rumor that Craig likes Kyle and sense there really isn't any gay guys in this school "well any gay guys who have come out of the closet" Kyle will most likely make the first move" said Lola.

All 3 girls then put their plan in motion and like a heart beat the whole school was talking.

Meanwhile in the boys lockerroom

"Dude I just heard that Craig is hot for you Kyle" said Stan

"God damnit Stan what did I tell you about trying too hook me up I swear if I didn't know better I would say your gay" said Kyle

"Hmm if you are then can you come over later I swear Bebe wont shut up about watching 2 boys from her school fucking in front of her while she masturbates" said Kenny.

The 2 boys just stared at Kenny.

"Dude what the fuck I am not gay and even if I was I would fuck Kyle in front of your girlfriend so she can get turned on" said Stan.

"WHAT THE FUCK ASSHOLE " yelled tweek?

The 3 boys turned around just in time for Kyle too hit the floor after a right hook by tweek.

"WHAT THE FUCK" yelled Stan about too strikes but he was stopped when Kenny grabbed Stan?

"Just wait lets hear tweek out before you kill him," said Kenny.

"You know I still loved Craig so you were planning on hitting on him just cause he might have some feelings for you" said Tweek.

"Wait no I wasn't" said Kyle.

"Tweek is it true" asked Craig

Craig has gym right after tweek so sometimes they see each other but normally it's just awkward.

"Yes Craig I still love you but I guess you moved on faster then I imagined," said Tweek.

"Dude why the fuck would I want that Jew I mean Hes so fucking annoying and trouble always follows him and his stupid friends" said Craig.

"But I heard from token" said Tweek.

"Yeah and I heard from Lizzy which last time I checked is a lying bitch so don't listen too rumors tweek I just didn't expect you too still love me" said Craig.

"Well after that fight we had I thought you never wanted too hang with a spazz," said Tweek.

"Well your not spazzing now" said Craig.

"Ever sense we broke up I stopped drinking coffee hell I went too a rehab sense well Craig I had a heart attack" said Tweek.

The 2 left too talk it out and then eventually go into the janitors closet for a make out session…yeah make out session.

"Dude I have too uhh take a piss I will meet you at the lunchroom" said Kyle.

Kyle then left and DB ran into Stan.

"Hey can we talk?" asked DB

Back too the girls

"Hey Bebe can you go with me too the hospital so I don't have too be alone when they examine me DBs busy after school and I am scared" asked Annie.

"Yeah of course honey," said Bebe.

"Ok I need too use the little girls room I will return," said Wendy.

BACK TOO THE BOYS

"So yeah you know I knocked up Annie and now I am going too be a father...be honest Stan how fucked am I" asked DB

''You love Annie right?'' asked Stan

''Yeah.'' Said DB

Stan gives DB a bro-hug.

''Then you'll be fine, your King Douche bag, you'll EASILY find a way to make money.'' Joked Stan.

"Yeah maybe we can loot king fatass haha" said DB

"Yeah well at least you and Annie had sex me and Wendy rarely even screw around anymore" said Stan

Kenny shows up and joins the conversation

"Well maybe she is planning something you have too be patient with girls sometimes" said DB.

"Yeah haha maybe she wants you too try anal," said Kenny.

"Uggh its just Kenny I'm nervous she's been taking too the girls more then me last time that happened she broke up with me for token" said Stan

"Stan she isn't leaving you hell bebe won't shut up about u 2 haha but I would keep an eye on fat ass he's up too something" said Kenny

"Hey where's Kyle" asked DB

"He's in the bathroom he's been in there a while let me get him" said Stan

''Kyle?'' Stan calls out as he enters the restroom.

''Dude are you ok?'' He asks.

Stan hears a loud moan and sees a hand clinging to the top of the stall door, as it's clear someone is thrusting forward. Stan then looks down and clearly sees Kyle's on his knees, his feet up against the door.

''O yeah Kyle, suck it!'' Came Blue cap's voice from the stall. ''Such a sexy red head Jew.''

"Uhh Kyle" said Stan

" AHHHHHHHHHH DUDE GET OUT" yelled Kyle

Stan ran out of the room and knocked over Wendy cartman passes by

"Dude I know you 2 fuck but keep it at home" said cartman.

"Stan what the fuck whereas the fire" asked Wendy.

"I just walked in on Kyle and a guy in the bathroom," said Stan.

"Yeah it's the boys room last time I checked men go in there," said Wendy.

"No in the same stall and Kyle on his knees" said Stan.

Wendy's eyes opened wide in shock.

And then Bluecap peaks his head out and goes ''Hey Stan dude, do you want to come back in? Kind of a turn on having people listening.''

''Jesus Blue!'' Shouts Kyle

**End of chapter**

Another chapter done what is the deal with Kyle and Bluecap are they in love or is it just a quickie in the stalls…blame RatherOddRanger for that Plot cause that wasn't my Idea haha but yeah thanks man for the help

Co Written by RatherOddRanger please review it helps alot


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 how Kyle meet Blue

Rated M for language and sex

Warning Lemon and cheesy jokes 1, which involves pokemon lol

Disclaimer I don't own South Park

Co written by RatherOddRanger

We return too the lunchroom where Kyle and Blue cap are making out.

"So how did you manage too catch Kyles fine ass like a pokemon Blue," asked Bebe

"Do you want me too tell them or you sexy" asked Blue

"Ehh I will sense I have more detailed info" said Kyle.

FLASHBACK

"Kyle why can't you study hard and be more polite like your brother ike I mean he's only 13 years old and is at a college level of learning" said Mrs. Brofloski.

''Ike does this! Ike does that! I'm sick of being compared to my baby brother!' yelled Kyle

"Uhh Kyle I am not a baby and I agree with you I hate being thought as the perfect person cause I am not" said Ike.

"Nonsense Ike you are a little angel and deserve too be treated like one," said Mrs. Brofloski

"WELL MAYBE I SHOULD JUST LEAVE" yelled Kyle.

Kyle ran out of the house in anger and tears little did he know that Ike and there mother started fighting over the fact that Ike wanted too slow down. Kyle then reached the down town part of south park the area where the other half lives and he entered the movie theater not knowing what kind of films they play. He doesn't realize his mistake until he realizes he's watching 'Hairy Mountain Bareback Fudge Packers 5' but he starts getting horny watching it. Then a guy the same age as him sits next to him.

''Kyle right?'' Asks the guy.

''Um ... Maybe ... who wants to know?'' Kyle asks.

''Just a gay guy whose had a crush on you since 5th grade.'' The guy goes.

''Your a high school student like me?'' Asks Kyle.

''Yeah just like you.'' The guy goes as he starts rubbing Kyle's junk.  
>''Hey wait a minute-'' Kyle is cut off as the guy kissed him, Kyle can't reply as the guy<p>

Then shoves his tongue into Kyle's mouth. After about 5 minutes he breaks the kiss.

''Listen here you sexy red haired Jew, I'm going to suck you off. Then after you've licked your own Jizz off my face, you're going to sip lube on my cock whilst I sloppy finger bang your asshole. Then you're getting on your back so I can have that sweet tight asshole of yours.

Deal?'' He asks Kyle.

''... And if I refuse?'' Kyle asks.

''I'll leave, promise but think about it. Do you really want to miss the chance of having some VERY kinky sex in a empty gay movie theater?'' He asks Kyle.

Kyle stops and thinks it over before asking. ''Could you rim me instead? Never had anyone put ANYTHING in there before and I am really nervous" asked Kyle

''Sure.'' Says the guy as he unzips him.

''Do I get your name? You know mine.'' Kyle asks.

The stranger spits on Kyle's dick as he lowers his head. ''No clues, if you don't know me then no 2nd date.''

The kid starts by liking the head of Kyle's penis Kyle get turned on and starts rubbing his shaft when the kid stops him.

"No let me do all the work Kyle ok don't worry I have done this before" said the Kid.

The kid then started rubbing Kyles shaft with his hands and shoved the whole thing down his throat Kyle twitched and begged for more. The kid then took Kyles pants off and started licking the inside of Kyle's asshole while Kyle screamed in pleasure.

"Oh fuck yeah ok easy there that hurts do I know you" asked Kyle.

The Kid then stopped when he heard someone enter the room.

"Yeah you do if you can guess my name then I will revieal it if not then I will leave," said the Kid.

Kyle then remembered his face

"Blue is that you" asked Kyle.

It indeed was blue cap but he doesn't take his cap too theaters cause then people might find out him at school and mock him.

"So you want me too leave" asked Blue.

"No I want too know if your willing too go out with me sometime" asked Kyle.

"Sure I can think about it," said Blue.

END OF FLASHBACK

"That was over a month ago," said Kyle

''Wow ... that's hot...'' Goes Bebe, whilst Wendy is blushing bright red and Lola is simply drooling.

Kyle blushes as Bluecap pulls him into a loving hug, ''Yeah who's my sexy Jersey Jew.''

Stan, Kenny and Kevin just look on confused but supportive until Bebe breaks the silence.

''Dang I'm so jealous Bluecap gets to pound Kyle's hot ass now.''

"Uggh I think I'm going to be sick" said Stan

"Haha I'm bi so I have too agree with bebe I think that's pretty hot" said Kenny

"Uhh Lola honey I know your drooling but ...u love me right " asked Kevin

"Yeah I do" said Lola

''But...'' Lola began. ''I wouldn't say no to doing you with a strap on!''

Kevin: O.O

"Haha" Bebe laughed while Lola blushed.

"NO" yelled Kevin.

''Jesus Christ'' mumbles Stan and then Wendy grabs his hand.

''Stan ... sweetie ... you love me right?'' Asks Wendy.

''Um. Yeah.'' Goes Stan.

''So you'd do ANYTHING for me right?'' Asks Wendy.

''I'm not having sex with Kyle.'' Replies Stan.

''No not that ... Yet.'' Mumbles Wendy.

"Ok then what do you want" asked Stan

"Well me and Lola were thinking and sense I am curious and Lola is Bi I was thinking of a 4 way between you Kevin me and Lola," said Wendy.

"WOOHOO" yelled Kenny.

"Why are you cheering you cant watch" said Bebe.

"So its still hot thinking about them haha" said Kenny.

''I don't know...'' Goes Stan.

''Me and Lola will put on a sexy show for you and Kevin but...'' Wendy says.

''But what?'' Stan asks concerned.

''You and Kevin have to jerk each other off.'' Smirks Wendy.

Ok BLARG" Stan throws up on the floor

"Oh Stan you and your poor weak stomach come on let's get you cleaned up" said Wendy

"She truly loves him huh" said Kyle

"Yeah its funny how different people deal with love" said Bebe

"Yeah like you and I love sex but can actually go out on a date like normal people," said Kenny.

"Or like me and Lola love star trek and have a movie night with other sci-fi stuff" said Kevin.

"Which sometimes doesn't end up with me on top of her haha" said Lola.

MEAN WHILE AT THE NURSES OFFICE

"So did you hear Wendy is actually thinking of dumping Stan marsh cause Bebe mentioned it too Wendy the other day" said Nichole

"Oh really who said that" asked red

"Well I heard it from Lizzy who heard it from jenny who talked too Milly who is friends with Clyde who Bebe secretly is screwing around with" said Nichole.

"Ehh I don't think Bebe is banging Clyde her and Kenny have a thing going on" said Red

"Yeah well Wendy is so going after token now cause she is such a bitch and token is probably going too use that big black dick on her" said Nichole

"Yeah I bet you miss that huh" said Red.

"DAMNIT RED STOP BEING A SLUT"yelled Nichole.

"Oh my god Wendy is dumping me and that 4 way was a test too see if I would get sick," said Stan

END OF CHAPTER

Uh oh not again you think Wendy will dump Stan and will Kenny see a 4 way AND WHAT IS MILLY WEARING find out next time when we discuss it

REVIEW PLEASE WE NEED REVIEWS ;(


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 depressions hurts

Rated M for sex and language

Warning Lemon

Disclaimer I don't own South Park

Co written by RatherOddRanger

Its been a week sense Stan heard the rumor and Wendy hadn't seen him sense Stan threw up on her so she got worried and asked her friends about it.

"So yeah bebe I haven't seen him sense where do you think he is" asked Wendy

"I don't know did you ask Kyle I am sure he knows," said Bebe

Wendy then left Bebes house and Kenny came out of the bathroom in a thong.

"Why do I have too wear this again?" asked Kenny

"Cause it shows off your junk really well plus you lost a bet with Karen and you know me and her have been getting along like sisters" said Bebe

"Uggh I've noticed I mean first my brother gets engaged too shelly now I hear Karens dating Ike were all going too be 1 big ass family soon" said Kenny

"Well Wendy came over saying she couldn't find Stan so she went over too Kyles house too ask him" said Bebe

"Hey have you noticed Kyle is acting strange lately ever sense him and blue reveled their relationship" asked Kenny

"yeah now that you said that it is weird?" said Bebe

"So are we going to do it?" asked Kenny

"No I'm having cramps sorry hon.," said Bebe

MEANWHILE

" Hey I am out side Kyles house blue can you let me in," asked Wendy on the phone

'Hang on let me get the ball gag out of his mouth'  
>Bluecap removes it.<p>

'Jesus Blue why don't you tell everyone!'

Blue walked downstairs and let Wendy inside.

"Where's Kyle" asked Wendy staring at Blues boxers

"Hes coming" said Blue

"Hey blue do you know where Stan is" asked Wendy

"No I don't why what's wrong" asked blue

Kyle then comes out butt naked

"Holy shit Kyle...your bigger then I thought" said Wendy

"Honey what are you doing" asked blue

"YOU LEFT ME IN HANDCUFFS YOUR LUCKY I HAD A SPARE KEY UNDER THE PILLOW" yelled Kyle

"Well you wanted too try something new it's not my fault u didn't enjoy it," said blue

"Uh guys" said Wendy

''Why on Earth do you even own a ball gag?'' Kyle asks.

''My moms are REALLY kinky.'' Comments Bluecap

" Uhh guys," said Wendy

"What do u mean moms wait do u have 2 moms?" asked Kyle

''Um yeah, my dad was some high school friends husband, I think his name was Randy or something.'' States Bluecap.

''O forget this!'' Wendy shouts and leaves.

''What's her problem?'' Asks Kyle

Wendy then comes back in the room pissed

"My problem is that I am looking for Stan and I thought hell his best friend would know where he is but know he rather stand here arguing butt naked with his boyfriend then help" said Wendy

"sorry Wendy hes at home he is kind of depressed he wont say why" said Kyle

"thanks oh and hehe" said Wendy

Wendy snapped a pic of kyles bare ass and sent it too Bebe before running out of the house.

''Damnit Testaburger!'' Shouts Kyle as he hears another camera phone take his picture.

''Blue the hell?'' He asks his boyfriend.

''I'll need Fapping material for the family trip to Japan unless...'' Bluecap goes bright red.

''Unless?'' Asks Kyle.

''You come with me to meet my mom's family? I did mention one of my moms was Japanese right?'' Asks Bluecap.

''Um. No.'' Goes Kyle.

''Your going to love the yaoi store my cousin runs.'' Laughs Bluecap.

Mean while Wendy finds Stan in his room smoking and drinking coffee

"STAN WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE ASTHMA" yelled Wendy

"What's the point in life if we all die" said Stan

"Huh" asked Wendy

''You dumped me again!'' Stan starts crying, when he stops Wendy notices his eyeliner has run down his face making him look like the Crow.

''That's ... hot...'' Wendy starts drooling.

Stan then turns on love hurts

"Oh Stan why do you think I would leave you" asked Wendy

"I heard from Nichole who heard from Lizzy who talked too Millie who heard from bebe who told you which got too me in the nurses office" said Stan

''... I'm going to kill those girls, well not Bebe.'' Wendy comments as then just stares at Stan.

''The pants.'' Says Wendy.

''Huh?'' Goes Stan confused.

''LOSE THEM!'' She commands Stan

Then Wendy ripped stans pants off and started sucking him off

"holy shit Wendy" said Stan

Wendy went up and down on his shaft while Stan held her hair Stan then goes too take his shirt off when Wendy smacks his hand

"No Stan lets keep out shirts on your dads down stairs and I don't want him catching us naked…again" said Wendy.

Stan then goes down and takes Wendy's skirt off and panties off and starts licking her pussy.

"Wow Stan you never eat me out what's the occasion" asked Wendy

"I don't know I guess I wanted too try something new" said Stan

Stan continued too eat Wendy's moist pussy then he got up and kissed her passionately like they used too do in middle school before they discovered the wonders of sex

"Stan fuck me now please I never been this much attracted too you then I do right now" said Wendy

"Marry Me," asked Stan

"WHAT" yelled Wendy?

"I don't want too lose you again and I love you we are juniors yes but I want too grow old with you so please Wendy will you marry me" asked Stan

They stopped fucking and Wendy went into tears

"YES I WILL" yelled Wendy.

END OF CHAPTER

Dun dun DUNNNNNNN haha well that was random a proposal during sex haha


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 when photos leak

Rated M for language and ass

Disclaimer I don't own South Park

Co written by RatherOddRanger

We cut back too Bebes house with Kenny pissed off that he didn't score.

"Hey honey do you know where my pants are" asked Kenny

"ekk I just got a pic from Wendy" said Bebe

''OMG! It's Kyle's ass!'' Squeals Bebe.

''What's so great about-HOLY CRAP HE DOES HAVE A GREAT ASS!'' Goes Kenny.

"I know right yummy Bebe wants a taste of that pie," said bebe

"Uhh Bebe hes gay remember plus your with me…right" asked Kenny

"Kenny darling I love you and I will always love you but you also have too agree we both can like other people as long as we love each other" said Bebe.

"Ehh no arguing with that logic" said Kenny.

Kevin's parents are having dinner and discussing how Kevin seems to be so happy lately especially since he's started tutoring Lola in math.

''Um Mom, dad, I'm pretty sure Kevin and Lola are dating.'' Says Esther.

''Don't be silly sweetie, your brother is a nerd, and how on earth could he land a super hot cheerleader girlfriend?'' Says Mr. Stoley.

''And besides Lola seems like such a nice girl, I'm sure they're both studying upstairs in your brothers room.'' Replies Mrs. Stoley.

We cut too Kevin's room where Kevin's wearing storm trooper Armour minus pants whilst Lola is wearing the slave Leia outfit, Lola is literally milking Kevin dry until he takes over squeezing the last drops out as Lola licks the cum off from around the head, Kevin then wipes the cum from around her mouth and she proceeds to lick it off his finger.

They both then snuggle and whisper loving things to each other until they both jump from a text from Bebe. Lola checks her phone and then shrugs and then comments

''I prefer your giant dick to Kyle ass any day of the week Kevin.'' Said Lola

"Uhh thanks lol I mean I think your boobs are better then Bebe's," said Kevin

"Uggh do we really need too remember 2 years ago" asked Lola

FLASHBACK

There's a class field trip for the freshmen sense they got the highest grades in the whole country…thanks too Wendy Kyle Bebe (yeah she is actually pretty smart lol) and Kevin but they also tutored Kenny Stan And Butters who also got high scores.

"Uhh Bebe isn't that bikini top a little small on you I mean your boobs are going too pop out" said Wendy

"Haha yeah that would give the boys a show" said Nichole

The girls all are by the pool tanning and there boyfriends are all swimming Bebe and Clyde are dating currently and Lola is going on and off with other guys

"So I think I might break up with Clyde cause he just doesn't do it for me anymore" said Bebe.

"Haha haven't you slept with him yet," asked Lola

"No I am a virgin," said Bebe.

"Yeah I mean I'm not but that's cause Stan caught me in the shower" said Wendy

"Oh really how was it" asked Lola

"Well at first it really hurt but then it felt good and he even rubbed my back afterwards" said Wendy.

"SNAP"

Then the sound of a camera going off

6 minutes earlier

"So Kyle look at bebe I bet you would love a taste of those melons," said Stan

"Dude keep it down Clyde's going too hear you" said Kyle

"Uhh hes cheating on her with milly he don't give two shits" said Stan.

"Well even so I don't think Bebes hot" said Kyle

"What are you gay?" said Stan

"What if I am huh you got a problem with that," said Kyle

They both looked angry and then laughed

"Dude I am not gay ok" said Kyle

"Hey if you were its cool with me but seriously her tops going too pop" said Stan

"It better" said Kenny

"SNAP"

"Oh right on cue," said Kenny

"BEBE YOUR TOP" yelled Wendy

The boys just stopped and stared while the girls all cussed them out

"HEY ASSHOLES STOP STARING YOU PERVERTS" yelled Lola.

5 hours later

"Bebe you are a whore I mean not only did all the guys in the class see your boobs but the whole fucking school and now I hear your talking too Kenny hes a poor piece of shit why talk too him" said Nichole.

Bebe was in tears cause all her friends ditched her and they all spread rumors that she was sleeping with Kenny and no one believed her except one person.

"HEY NICHOLE I THINK TOKEN IS EATTING OUT RED CAUSE YOUR PUSSY TASTES STALE" said Wendy.

Wendy and Nicole went at it until the teachers broke it up then Wendy walked Bebe too there room.

"Cartmans an asshole and Nicholes a bitch" said Wendy.

"Yeah everyone of them are" said Bebe

"I don't know I trust Lola, " said Wendy

Meanwhile at the guys

"YOU ASSHOLE"yelled Kenny

Kenny pounded cartmans face in and started kicking his stomach until he coughed up blood

"Enough Kenny it isn't worth it," said Kyle

"Well shes my friend and I am tired of you people treating her like a sack of shit," said Kenny

"Dude you wanted her top too snap" said Stan

"Only cause I thought it would be funny I didn't know fatass had a camera now shes treated like a whore" said Kenny.

BACK TOO THE PRESENT

''Can't believe fat ass didn't get expelled for taking that photo during the class Florida trip when her bikini string snapped like that.'' Snarls Lola.

''Have you noticed he's getting angrier lately ever since Kyle came out of the closet? Like it feels like he's plotting to ruin all of the other couples now.'' Comments Kevin.

''Hopefully we won't get a photo leak of your giant dick Kevin, I'm fighting to keep that.'' Replies Lola.

''Um ... you mean fighting to keep me right?'' Replies a worried Kevin.

''Yeah, what did I say?'' Asks Lola looking up from her phone.

Mean while in another bed room

"Ok Wendy I am sorry about that whole emo shit" said Stan

"Its fine lol uhh I think kyles going to kill me" said Wendy receiving a copy of the pic she just sent

Meanwhile

"AHHHHH" yelled Kyle

"Hahaha well I mean I don't think anyone knows its yours who sent it" asked blue

"FUCKING FATASS SAYING haha hacking hippie phones finally came in use Jew" said Kyle

''I guess no one told the fat fuck I'm captain of the boxing team.'' Goes Bluecap as he puts his pants on.

''Wait you are?'' Kyle asks wide eyed.

''Yeah hence why I didn't want anyone knowing I go to that gay movie theater, got an image to uphold and all.'' Bluecap says before planting a quick kiss on Kyle's lips.  
>''Right off to defend my man's honor and virtue!''<p>

''Pretty sure you took my virtue.'' Replies Kyle.

End of chapter

WHAT WILL HAPPEN WILL CARTMAN DIE WILL KYLES ASS BE USED AS A PILLOW FOR BEBE…HAHA…AND WILL SOMEONE ACTUALLY THINK THIS STORY IS FUNNY TUNE IN SOON TOO FIND OUT

Oh and tune in tomorrows south park for some interesting stuff


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 wedding plans

Rated M for language and sex talk

Disclaimer I don't own South Park

CO written by RatherOddRanger

We return too the school the time has been crazy people still are talking about the ass they saw people knew it was kyles but they really didn't care cause Kyle was such a nice guy cartman didn't get beat up by Blue cause Kyle talked him out of it and Stan got Wendy a nice ring to show off too the girls.

"So uhh bebe me and Stan did it," said Wendy

"hehe how was it" asked Bebe

"it was great...but then he purposed," said Wendy

"EKKKKKKKKK" screamed Bebe

Wendy flashed the ring and all the girls jumped with joy.

''I call bridesmaid!'' Yelp Lola.

''Have you set a date yet? It's not the same date as Pete's and me is it? I'd hate there to be a clash.'' Asked Jenny.

''Ah jeez, I'm going to look so fat in a bridesmaid dress.'' Said Annie.

''Can I be the stripper who pops out of the cake at the stag party?'' Asked Red.

"Ok it won't be for a while jenny and Pete your dates good Annie your glowing and red huh what the hell" said Wendy

''What?'' Asked Red. ''I need the practice plus I need to win back Kevin.''

''THE FUCK!'' Shouted Lola.

''Red you cheated on him like 2 years ago with the ENTIRE NORTH PARK FOOTBALL TEAM!'' Said a very annoyed Wendy.

''I had to ... I was drunk.'' Commented Red.

"Red your drunk now before school even started you have a problem" said bebe

A group of girls passed

"You all have a problem Wendy's so smart it comes out of her ass Bebe's dating a poor piece of shit Jenny's getting married too a loser and Annie's the dumbest of all Mrs. 16 and pregnant" said Nicole

''SINNERS!'' Shouted Heidi. ''Your all sinners for having sex before marriage!''

''O shut up Heidi Turner, your just pissed that you got drunk and had sex with Cartman and couldn't get the smell of McDonalds, pizza hut, KFC and grease off every part of your body for over 2 weeks!'' Shouted Lola.

Then Annie rushed to the girl's bathroom to be sick but the door was locked, she then kicked open the transgender bathroom and vomited all over Cartman who was taking a dump.

''WHAT THE FUCK! GAH! IT BURNS!'' Scream Cartman as he came out running around pant less and covered in vomit.

''Jesus that's small.'' Bebe said as she narrowed her eyes.

''What did you ever see in him?'' Asked Jenny to Wendy who just got annoyed.

''It was ONE KISS, Jesus people.'' Wendy said crossing her arms.

''So ... what was your excuse for going on a date with back when you and Stan broke up in middle school?'' Asked Lola.

''Yeah Wendy, talk about a poor life choice.'' Laughed Nicole.

''I had too damnit! I lost a bet with Bebe!'' Shouted Wendy

.  
>''I also had to show you how lucky you were with Stan by having you date fatass.'' Commented Bebe<p>

''Jesus the fact he kept farting and eating at the same time in that restaurant...'' Mumbled Wendy as she started feeling sick remembering that terrible date.

Mean while at the boys

"Dude kyles late again" said Stan

"Dibs on best man" said Kenny

"Sorry bro kyles my best friend" said Stan

"Yeah its...HOLY SHIT"yelled Kenny

Kyle then came in the school wearing a skirt tang top makeup and had his hair down.

Bluecap came in behind him looking very angry.

''Kyle I'm gay ... I like MEN WHO DRESS LIKE MEN!'' Said an annoyed Bluecap.

''But Blue ever since I've started taking it up the butt I've felt more and more like a sissy. I'm just accepting it, plus don't I look pretty?'' Asked Kyle.

''... Give me a quick flash.'' Asked Bluecap.

Whilst no one was looking Kyle quickly flashed Bluecap.

''... Yeah this can work as long as you call me Captain when we do it.'' Mumbles Bluecap.

"Oh and your not a sissy Kyle so stop feeling like one" said Bluecap

Stan Kenny and Kevin's mouth was practically on the floor when Kyle walked over too them

"Hey guys" said Kyle

After a bit Kenny spoke up

"Well hello sexy when did you come too our school" asked Kenny

"Ok" said Kyle

Back too the girl

"So ok pink brides maid or white" asked bebe

"Bebe its early for this ok " said Wendy

''Hey Wendy can I talk to you in private for a moment?'' Asked Lola.

''Sure, later girls.'' Said Wendy as they all waved and arranged to meet up in the lunchroom.

''So Lola what's up? Our not going to confess your lesbian love for me or something are you?'' Wendy asked with a nervous laugh.

''Oh no, I'm loving Kevin's giant dick too much for that. No I was just wondering if you'd be interested in swapping boyfriends for a one night stand?'' Asked a very nervous Lola.

Uhhhh I don't know I mean its a weird idea" said Wendy

"It can be while were in the same house so it wont be too weird" said Lola

After a few minutes Wendy answered

"Ok but I pick the place got it" said Wendy

"Ok deal so did you...who's that girl" asked Lola

''Wait a minute don't change the subject!'' Said Wendy.

''Huh?'' Asked Lola.

''Why do you want to do this swap anyway?'' Asked Wendy.

''Well...'' Lola began nervously. ''Kevin's only had sex with me, so I want him to have at least one more experience in case he ever begs me to marry him. I mean I've slept with a few guys but he has the biggest dick I've got to enjoy, so I'd be an idiot to say no.''

''Uh ... ok...'' Said Wendy confused.

''Plus I owe it to my future children to ensure they have the best start in life.'' Said Lola smiling.

''... By having kids with a kid with a giant dick?'' Asked Wendy.

''Ditto!'' Said Lola smiling.

"Ok" said Wendy

"Seriously who is that chick...OH FUCK NO SHES HUGGING OUR MEN "yelled

Lola

''Wait ... is that... KYLE!'' Asks Wendy.

''Holy shit ... I'd do him dressed like that ... well I'd play with myself whilst Kevin did him but you know what I mean.'' Replies Lola.

''That's hot.'' Said Wendy "and you would do anyone you horny bitch" said Wendy

"Haha yeah your right but seriously isn't he pretty" asked Lola

"Yeah I mean his outfit is all wrong "said Wendy

"ALL WRONG UGGH HES A MESS HOLD ON" yelled bebe

"Wait how long has she been there" asked Lola

Meanwhile

"So you cross dress now" asked Stan

"Yeah I mean I feel pretty and I wanted too dress pretty...is it weird" asked Kyle

"HAHAHA fuck yeah it is "said cartman walking by

"Ignore fatass he smells like shit you look pretty and its not weird I mean your gay and I guess sometimes gay guys want too dress like girls there's nothing wrong with that" said Kenny

"OK KYLE COME WITH ME" said bebe dragging him in the girls room

"The fuck just happened," asked Stan

"That bitch took my man," said Blue

"Uhh that bitch is my girlfriend," said Kenny

"Oh sorry I mean Bebe stole my man" said Blue

"So why did she take him in there she knows hes as straight as a circle right" asked Stan

Meanwhile in the girls room

"Uhh Bebe what the fuck is wrong with you I am in the girls room" said Kyle

"Oh please the girls in this school don't give 2 shits anymore if a guy walks in as long as they aint checking there titts in the mirror no ones going too freak out" said Bebe

"Ok but why are we in here" asked Kyle

"I am going too make you the prettiest girl in the school so first the skirt and shirt don't match so take off the skirt I have a spare that looks good with that shirt" said bebe

"uhh I have no underwear on" said Kyle

bebe practically had a nosebleed from those words

"ok look yeah girls free ball sometimes hell I do but we do it when were trying too be sexy not just during school hours uggh I have an extra pair of panties too you better hope my period starts tomorrow and not today" said Bebe

"Wait panties uggh" said Kyle

"You want too be a girl" asked Bebe

"Yeah today I do not everyday" said Kyle

"Then you wear panties" said Bebe

bebe hands him panties and a new skirt

"oh and we have too redo that makeup" said Bebe

"uhh don't you have class" asked Kyle

"we both have study hall so we have 2 hours too fix this hot mess of a face I mean who did your face your dad" asked Bebe

"Uhh Ike did" said Kyle

"Oh boy a Canadian did makeup HA," said bebe

"Hey be nice too him he tried" said Kyle

"I know Baby but hes a boy now if Karen messed it up I would feel bad sense shes new at looking pretty" said Bebe

"Isn't she always pretty" said Kyle

"Ok enough chatting lets get too work," said Bebe

''Makeover!' Squealed Annie as music filled the room.

"Annie honey why don't you go too class I got this," said Bebe

Bluecap is outside the girls room tapping his foot impatiently on the ground.

''Geez girls are so obsessed with their appearance.'' Said Bluecap as he pulls out a mirror. ''Huh ... I need to get some more gel for my hair.''

Dude I got a text from Kyle hes going too be an hour lets hit class its not like hes giving birth in there" said Stan

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU SAY" yelled Annie

"uhh sorry" said Stan

"NO NO NO US GIRLS HAVE ENOUGH PROBLEM (she starts crying) with out you guys being asshole and mocking us for wanting too feel pretty" said Annie running too class.

"Uggh ignore her those hormones are intense" said Wendy

Suddenly the door explodes off the hinges and King Duchebag storms out angry and in full body Armour looking pissed off.

''It was Cartman who upset Annie.'' Said Stan.

''Ok cheers dude.'' Said DP as he walks off.

"Wait DB no it was Stan but it was an accident Stans just a dumb boy who doesn't know how fragile a girl is when shes 3 months pregnant" said Wendy.

"Haha I know I just wanted too scare the shit off everyone," said DB

2 hours later

"dude ok Kyle is still not here and its lunch time" said Stan

"yeah who made lunch at 9 am anyway" said Kenny

(yeah its weird as hell I remember having lunch in elementary school that early)

"ATTENTION EVERYONE WE HAVE A NEW STUDENT AND HER NAME IS KYLIE" shouted Bebe

Kyle then comes out looking nothing like Kyle brofloski but a full on female (except voice and well boobs haha)

"damn sexy" said Kenny

Kyle had on a black tang a black skirt full mascara lipstick blush and eyeliner

"ok I don't know how girls can wear leggings they fucking chafe" said Kyle

"uhh attention mmkay there was an error in the line up mmkay please report too your 2nd period class mmkay" said mar acky

''... When was Mr. Mackey hire to work at high school?'' Asked Kevin.

END OF CHAPTER

Wow that was intense a long ass chapter me and Ranger made I hope you enjoy it and please review it helps and lets us know how were doing


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 what is love

Rated M for language and sex

Warning a lot of sex talk

Disclaimer I don't own South Park

Co written by RatherOddRanger

Red woke up and noticed she wasn't even in her room and was naked; she then looked to her right and saw the naked form of Eric Cartman.

''O ... O god no...'' She mumbled to herself in shame.  
>Cartman let out a yawn and then farted loudly, right in front of Red.<p>

''GAH!'' She screamed.

''Well good morning to you too bitch.'' Cartman said.

''O god did we?'' She asked worried.

''Yep you totally sucked my balls dry last night.'' Said Cartman with a giant shit-eating grin.

''I ... I think I need help ... professional help ... like AA meetings help.'' Red said as she broke down crying.

**The next day **

The boys are chatting when Kyle showed up

"Hey Kyle your back too being a guy" said Stan

"Yeah I'm only bringing out kylie twice a week" said Kyle

"But its only been once" said Stan

"Tomorrow DUHHH" said Kyle

Bluecap smiles ''And I know for a fact the locker room will be empty tomorrow.''

Bluecap lifts his eyebrows up and down at a nervous Kyle whilst Stan attempts to change the subject.

''So yeah ... um ... anyone else notice Red deleted her face book?'' Said Stan.

Back at the girls.

''OMG! Did you hear Red was so drunk yesterday she left with Cartman during lunch?'' Asked Emily.

''No but I did hear you scored with Douglas!'' Said Bebe and the pair high fived.

Emily giggles ''He spelt out the alphabet when he started eating out my pussy.''

''Damn I'm going to have to get Kevin to try that.'' Mumbled Lola.

Back at the boys table.

''So Douglas seeing how you got laid you can now officially sit with us. How does it feel?'' Kenny asked.

''Getting laid or sitting with you guys?'' Douglas asked confused.

Kenny just shrugs as the school's intercom suddenly comes on. Everyone is shocked to hear Heidi's voice.

''ATTENTION EVERYONE! Mmkay Following the recent increase in teenagers having sex before marriage Mmkay, a special meeting is being held at Esther's Stoley's house to discuss what can be done to educate our class mates of the dangers of pre-marriage sex Mmkay.''

''... My house?'' Said Esther confused.

''WHAT THE FUCK SIS?'' Kevin shouted as he walked up to his twin sister.

''Look Kevin I'm sorry but I feel you and Lola have a sex addiction, also did you know mom and dad don't believe you could score a hot girlfriend?'' She said.

''Look just because I lock my bedroom door when Lola's around and sometimes you hear a LOT of giggling ... and panting ... and Lola groaning and moaning... and ... bed springs moving ... DOES NOT mean we always have sex.'' Stated Kevin as Lola walks over.

''What the hell Esther, I need Kevin to practice his ABCs with me tonight.'' Lola said annoyed as Kevin looks confused and mutters a ''Wha?''.

Esther takes a deep breath and looks at the pair.

''Spit in my mouth.'' Replies Esther. ''That what I heard you shout last night, SPIT IN MY MOUTH!''

The 2 left then red and the guys started busted out laughing

**Back at the girls**

"So bebe I saw this cute skirt that would look great with your new shoes" said Wendy

"Wow I saw a nice top the other day...

"Girls...I need your help" said red

"Well red I don't know I mean you are kind of a bitch" said Wendy

"and a whore" said Bebe

"and a drunk who tries on multiple occasions too steal Kevin that he is thinking of getting a restraining order" said Annie

"well I am sorry but after waking up too that fat ass I found out I need professional help" said Red

"you need a legit boyfriend that you wont cheat on and also go too AA and maybe do something for us" said Wendy.

Bluecap walks over.

''Well back when we used to play Stick of Truth, I used to hang out with this one kid who practiced herbal meds and shit, maybe he can help?'' He said.

''Wait ... who's side were you on?'' Asked Bebe.

''The elf's naturally, I was the kid with jet black hair.'' Bluecap said.

''Oohh''. All the girls went as the boys looked on.

''Dude, how long was Bluecap crushing on you?'' Asked Stan.

Nicole and the other bitchy girls walk by.

''Hey Red heard about you and Cartman, Geez girl what happened to you? Your such a cheap slut!'' Nicole said as Heidi laughed.

Red burst into tears and Lola of all people then came over to hug and defend her.

''O yeah Nicole! You think Token's so great?'' Lola said.

''Yeah and you should know you slept with him!'' Nicole said remembering how Token and her broke up and he dated Lola for a while.

Lola just roles her eyes ''O please, I have class especially after Token offered me $1000 to piss in his mouth!''

The cafeteria went silent.

''He ... he didn't offer me that much...'' Nicole mumbled.

Lola looks over at Kevin who looks a bit depressed.

''Kevin ... I did say I had 'experience' when we first did it.'' She said softly.

Kevin just looks a little awkward and simply nods.

''Besides I would never dump you after finding out about your 10 inch dick!'' Lola said loudly, making sure EVERYONE heard it.

"But I don't know if u love me for me...or my dick" said Kevin

Kevin then walked away holding back tears

"Way too go Lola your boy toy is leaking hahaha guess you might want to upgrade" said Nichole

"Yeah bet Timmy would be better company then that dumb ass nerd" said Heidi

"YOUR WRONG I DO LOVE HIM" screamed Lola

"FACE IT YOUR JUST AS MUCH AS A SCANK AS RED " yelled Nichole

Lola then broke into tears and ran too the girls room shouting ''AT LEAST KEVIN DIDN'T ASK ME TO PISS IN HIS MOUTH UNLIKE TOKEN!''

All the guys turn to Token.

''Eww that's stinky.'' Replies Butters.

**Later in the lunch room.**

"Dude don't you think you were a little harsh on Lola" asked Kenny

"how can I trust her if she only wants me for sex you know we haven't even gone out once every time I see he its come up stares and fuck me I wanted too take her out too dinner but NO she wants sex so ether A we break up or B she cuts the sex down a bit" said Kevin

"wow your the first man I ever knew that would be pissed over too much pussy" said Kenny

meanwhile

"sniff am I a whore Wendy" cried Lola

"well I mean you love sex" said Wendy

"UGGGH WHY IS EVERYONE CRYING ITS GIVING ME A FUCKING HEADACHE" screamed Bebe

"uggh bebes on her period" said Wendy

" FUCK YOU WENDY AHHH sniff why is everyone so mean in this school" said bebe

"damn bebe you have more hormones then me" said annie

"I guess Kevin wants too leave me huh" said Lola

"no just take him out too dinner and maybe a movie" said Wendy

**Back at the boys**

"Hehehe still can't believe how easy red was" said cartman

"Dude no one gives 2 fucks that you slept with red practically everyone in north park had" said Stan

"Yeah...but I did twice in 1 night with not condom in her ass and pussy" said cartman

"5 bucks says she's pregnant" said Kyle

"I will take that action 10 bucks" said blue

''Suckers bet.'' Said Stan and he looks over at DP who just bursts out laughing.

''Whatever, if she is I'll just get her to abort it.'' Said Cartman.

''God you are such an asshole Cartman.'' Said Kyle as he got up and storm off angrily.

''What's gay jersey Jews problem? Got a dildo up his ass to make up for Blue cap's small dick?'' Cartman said loudly and then started laughing.

Kyle stopped, turned around angrily and then went charging at Cartman in full rage mode. ''GAH!'' He screamed as Cartman then got up and started running in fear.

''Shit! Shit! The Jersey Jew is pissed off! Shit!'' Cartman shouted in fear as he started running as the others look on confused.

''Uh ... So yeah Kevin, just talk to Lola, just be firm and tell her if she wants your giant cock again inside her again then she needs to agree to limit the sex to once a week.'' Said Kenny as he bro-hug him.

Later that day

"Hey Annie what's up" said Stan

"Stan why are you here I mean its kind of random" said Annie

"AND LIKE I TOLD YOU I WANT MY DAUGHTER TOO ABORT THAT BASTURD" yelled Annie's dad

"DONT YOU THINK YOUR DAUGHTER WANTS THAT KIND OF PAIN" yelled Annie's mom

"THEN SHES NOT MY DAUGHTER I WANT HER OUT OF MY HOUSE NOW!" Yelled her dad

"Hey let's get out of here I want too talk in private" said Stan

"Ok let's go too DBs house" said Annie

**Cuts to DB house.**

DB is hugging Annie who's a little shocked at her dad whilst Stan is attempting to carry her clothes and other things.

Annie sighs ''Good thing your mom is baby crazy.''

''Yeah she and dad went shopping, they've already cleaned out the spare bedroom, they want us to go with them to buy a crib next Saturday.'' Replied DB as Stan collapsed under the weight of the luggage.

"So what did you want too talk about" asked Annie

"Ehh its Kyle I think its weird he wants too dress like a girl all the time" said Stan

"Well I think its just kyles way of copping with being gay" said Annie

"Hey honey are you ok with sleeping on the couch till tomorrow or do u want my bed" asked DB

"Couch is fine" said Annie

"Dovakin U SLEEP ON THE COUCH" yelled his mom

''Relax son we'll be buying you pair a double bed soon enough.'' Said his dad.

''You sure dad?'' Asked DB.

''Yeah me and your mom have no problem with you two sharing a bed, I mean what's the worse that can happen, you get Annie knocked up?'' DB's dad said before bursting out laughing.

His wife then hit him with a cream pie in the face.

**END OF CHAPTER**

Hahaha well some slapstick humor man is we desperate for laughs hahaha just kidding. Hope you enjoyed this chapter we will work on chapter 8 soon and maybe have it up tomorrow some wonder hey how long will this be…I don't know MAYBE FOREVER haha sike probably a long time though. So stay tuned


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 Phone talk

Rated M for sex and language

Warning Lemon

Co written by RatherOddRanger

Disclaimer I don't own South Park

Wendy decided too call all of her friends starting with Bebe little did she know it would be one of the weirdest experiences in her life.

"So bebe how's the cramps" asked Wendy

"Sniff" "why is this movie so sad I mean they love each other and yet they don't think there love will work" cried bebe

"Ahh I see your emotional" said Wendy

"Yeah Kenny has some ice cream and he's rubbing my shoulders I will reward him next week with anal" said Bebe

''WOOHOO!'' Yells Kenny

''So what movie are you watching?'' Asked Wendy

''Henry and Me'' Replies Bebe.

"Oh cool I am hear with...ahh Stan... hold on "

"Stan what are you doing" asked Wendy

" I thought u would want your pussy eaten" said Stan

"While I'm on the phone" said Wendy

"He he Wendy your on speaker" said Wendy

"FUCK" yelled Wendy

"Trying honey" said Stan

Bebe and Kenny look at the phone as Wendy is arguing with Stan.

''Stan will you stop ... just... o... o... O yeah ... Right... Lick my asshole as well... yeah... YEAH! ... Finger fuck me hard ... YEAH, YEAH, YEAH! Now move around, yeah 69, I want you to fuck my mouth.'' Goes Wendy.

''... That's hot.'' Replies Bebe.

"What's going on asked Kenny

"Wendy's getting fucked by Stan on the phone" said bebe

"Oh god OH GOD RIGHT THERE YES OH YEAH I WANT YOY TOO FUCK ME HARDER THEN EVER BEFORE" yelled Wendy

"Damn rub it in why don't they should we hang up" asked Kenny

"Fuck no this is better then this movie" said bebe

''Cum all over tits!'' Wendy yelled.

''O god yes ... O GOD FUCK GAH!'' Yelled Stan as his breathing got heavy and was now slowly moaning.

''Lick it up, that's my sexy girl, lick up every drop.'' Continued Stan.

"Holy shit wish this was face can" said Kenny

"Uggh hey bebe sorry was busy with Stan" said Wendy

" I heard " giggled bebe

"Wait...OH FUCK I WAS ON SPEAKER" said Wendy

"Haha so were you a good girl and lick Stan clean" asked bebe

"Uggh this is so embarrassing" said Wendy

"Honey I'm going to shower off" said Stan

"Ok" said Wendy

"Go with him I am tired and might just sleep" said bebe

''Ok, laters, Stan holds up, we can try anal using the shower soap.'' Replied Wendy.

''Wendy, speaker.'' Replied Bebe.

''FUCK!'' Shouted Wendy.

"So if your tired you want me too leave," asked Kenny

"No I want you as a teddy bear" said Bebe

"Ok" said Kenny

The rest of the night they slept and bebe knew that Kenny and her were going to be together for along time.

**1 day later**

"So Kevin you want too you know get dinner" asked Lola

"Sure I know I nice restaurant and I've been saving up" said Kevin

"Kevin is that Lola tell her that your a nice guy maybe she will be your friend" said Mrs. Stoley

"Mom she's my girlfriend" said Kevin

"Hahaha yeah right you and that hot piece of ass" said Mr. Stoley

''Wait your parents don't believe I'm your girlfriend? What the actual fuck Kevin! I mean is it that hard to believe that I'm so sick of jocks like Clyde and Token grabbing my boobs during a movie and going 'honk, honk'?'' She yelled.

''Um Lola...'' Kevin started.

''I love you Kevin, I love you so much, your sweet, kind, caring and your amazing at eating out my pussy.'' She continued.

''Um...'' Kevin Mumbled.

''I mean you having a 10 inch penis is just a added bonus.'' She went on.

''Lola listen to me...'' Kevin tried to say only for Lola to continue.

''I mean that weekend they went away and we did it like 5 times, twice during the 2009 Star Trek movie. God that was a fantastic time. God I love you so much sweetie.'' Lola said.

''Lola ... I love you too but... But the speaker phone option on my phone is broke...'' Kevin mumbled embarrassed.

''O... So yeah I just love the way my pussy tightens up when you slide in that giant lightsaber of pure man meat into my tight wet pussy.'' Lola continued.

''Is this some kind of weird fetish?'' Kevin asked, as he looked over embarrassed at his parents who were speechless.

"No I am just...spitting nonsense hi Mr. and Mrs. Stoley uhhhh I will just go and kill my self now" said Lola

"No why don't you come over for dinner...so we can talk" said Mrs. Stoley

''GOD DAMN SON! WORDS CAN NOT EXPRESS HOW FUCKING PROUD I AM OF YOU!'' Mr. Stoley said loudly as he hugged his son. ''YOUR A REAL MAN SON!''

Mrs. Stoley folded her arms ''said the money who bet $20 to Jimbo that his son was gay.''

''Hey cut me some slack...'' Mr. Stoley mumbled.

DAD IM NOT GAY GOD" said Kevin

"Yeah and I didn't know Lola was religious" said ester

"I mean she kept screaming OH GOD OH GOD OH MERCIFUL GOD YES YES GOD" said ester

''You now damn well were having sex.'' shouted an annoyed Kevin.

Esther giggled. ''Yeah I know, just wanted you to admit it Mister 'SPIT IN MY MOUTH!'

''She's religious huh? Was she down on her knees, praying to the almighty lightsaber? ... And my lightsaber I mean your penis son.'' Said Mr. Stoley.

''DAD!'' Shouted Kevin.

''And by praying I mean giving you a blowjob.'' Said Mr. Stoley.

**Back too Lola**

"Wendy oh my god I just told Kevin I love him and his giant cock" said Lola

"Well that's cool" said Wendy

"IN FRONT OF HIS PARENTS" yelled Lola

"OH RIGHT THERE STAN OHHH" yelled Wendy

''Uh ... Wendy?'' Asked Lola confused.

''Sorry Stan's using strawberry cream to lick out my pussy.'' Replied Wendy.

''I wonder what'll feel like having you lick this stuff off my dick?'' Stan said.

"Stan hold on Lola's trying too talk...sorry a day of sex for us" said Wendy

"Haha don't get pregnant...oh and sorry I started fingering" said Lola

"Naughty girl u will be punished" said Wendy

"Kevin's parents want me too eat with them" said Lola

NO STAN. ...Ok yeah that's nice" said Wendy

"Damn girl your on fire" said Lola

"What he's rubbing my shoulders were done for awhile just be yourself and be nice I'm sure they won't be that mean that you stole there sons innocents...ok Stan I know you like touching my boobs but be gentle there still bruised from last time" said Wendy

Lola bites her lip. ''Dam that's hot to listen to.''

''Time for more of the strawberry cream.'' Said Stan as he sprayed it.

''Hehe you really like licking that off my boobs don't you?'' Wendy said giggling.

Uggh your getting distracted again" said Lola

"Sorry Lola look just treat them with respect...ok Stan I will hang up. Sorry Lola" said Wendy

Wendy hung up the phone and Lola then goes up stairs and gets ready for dinner

**End of chapter**

Well that's one interesting phone talk I wonder if Stan and Wendy did it for an entire 24 hours hmmm.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 dinner with the Stoley's

Rated M for language and sex talk

Co writer RatherOddRanger

Disclaimer I don't own South Park

We go the the Stoley house hold where tensions are high and the couple fell nervous

"So you too are dating and haven't even told us why" asked Mrs. Stoley

"Uhh mom I thought it was obvious" said Kevin

"Yeah Mrs. Stoley Mrs. Stoley walked into our room when he was rubbing my boobs" said Lola

Everyone turned too Mr. Stoley

"What I though it was biology homework" said me stoley

''Biology homework?'' Asked Kevin.

''Yes.'' Mr. Stoley replied flatly

"Yeah well I guess learning about mating was on the final exam" said ester

"I wish" said Lola

"uggh look Lola I know temptation is hard I mean me and Kevin's dad when we were young went at it alot" said Mrs. stoley

"MOM" yelled ester and Kevin

''To be fair I was a jock and your mom was a pretty hot nerd.'' Replied Mr. Stoley.

''And we were in college mind you.'' Said Mrs. Stoley.

''Remember that porn movie we made honey to fund our wedding?'' Asked Mr. Stoley.

Lola, Kevin and Esther just looked on in shock.

''To be fair I was a jock and your mom was a pretty hot nerd.'' Replied Mr. Stoley.

''And we were in college mind you.'' Said Mrs. Stoley.

''Remember that porn movie we made honey to fund our wedding?'' Asked Mr. Stoley.

Lola, Kevin and Esther just looked on in shock.

"Ok but seriously you 2 need too go easy on the sex cause Kevin and ester came too be cause of an accident" said Mrs. stoley

"WHAT!" yelled ester and Kevin

"yep we got married 3 weeks after you 2 were born" said Mr. stoley

''Dare I ask... who were you in 'that movie?'' Kevin asked disgusted.

''Well...'' Began Mrs. Stoley. ''Do you remember that scene with the goat?''

Kevin then fainted as he remembered.

''OH MY GOD! KEVIN!'' Lola bends down to try and wake up her boyfriend whilst Esther looks at her parents confused and disgusted.

''Wow ... Uh ... kind of thought Kevin would take it better then that. Guess he saw the film huh honey?'' Said Mr. Stoley.

''At least our son has a nice caring girlfriend, I just hope Esther can find a nice boy or girl someday.'' Replied Mrs. Stoley.

''Yeah and thankfully our son managed to catch a girl with a nice ass too.'' Said Mr. Stoley.

''Wait, WHAT!'' Asked Esther shocked.

Meanwhile ...

''So I'm thinking maybe it's time I met your moms, especially as you want me to go on this trip to Japan with you.'' Said Kyle as he was cleaning his leather pants.

''Have you ever been before just out of curiosity?'' Asked Bluecap as he was cleaning Kyle's ball gag.

"No but Stan Kenny and cartman did when Japan was killing all the dolphins and whales" said Kyle

**Meanwhile at Dovakin's house ...**

Stan has offered to help Dovakin move in his and Annie's new double bed, alongside DB's dad and Butters they're trying to figure out how to get it inside.

''What about the window to the guest room?'' Asked Stan.

''Worth a try but let's try the back door before spending money on rope.'' Replied DB dad.

''I've got rope dad.'' Replied Dovakin.

''... Do I want to know why?'' He replied.

"Uhh I have it cause I used it last year too tie up the food when we went camping remember" said DB

**In the house however Wendy is watching soap operas with Annie and DB's mom.**

''God they're all the same lately, has any soap NEVER involved gangsters or the mob?'' Wendy asked.

''I remember one involving the anti-Christ and the pope turning up to save the day.'' DB's mom commented.

''That sounds awesome.'' Replied Annie as she took a bite out of her subway sandwich.

''What did you get again Annie?'' Wendy asked, a little confused as the sandwich seem to be oozing mustard everywhere.

''BLT with pickles, mustard, onions, fish paste, liver paste and tomato sauce.'' She replied after she finished eating.

''I remember craving McDonalds at 3am with my little king.'' DB's mom commented.

"Yeah last night I asked DB too get me a burger with fish and chocolate sauce" said Annie

"Eww" said Wendy

"Ehh it wasn't that bad it tasted pretty damn good" said Annie

Wendy looked at how calm Annie was and thought too her self why was she so relaxed I mean her life is over now.

**Meanwhile at Cartman's house ...**

''Eric, your girlfriend is here.'' His mother said as she showed Red in.

''Mom she's not my girlfriend, she's just some tramp I slept with and is now lying about being pregnant to get child support.'' Stated Cartman as he continued to eat his cheesy poofs, not bothering to look up at them.

''I am pregnant with your kid and damnit all I want is money for an abortion!'' I refuse to raise his kid alongside you.

''That's fine I don't want it, fuck off!'' Shouted Cartman as Red left angrily.

**Back with Stan and db**

"So seriously thanks for coming too help me find a crib" said DB

"Its cool I mean its nice too hang out with a friend who isn't gay or a sex hound" said Stan

"Hmm weird that you would bash your best friend like that" said DB

"NO NO I'm not I. Love him its just its weird ok I'm sure I will get used too it but right now its just creepy seeing them make out you know" said Stan stuttering.

"Well I thought it was creepy when Annie asked me out in 7th grade but now I am happy she did" said DB

"Yeah I guess your right I mean its not everyday you get an aeir too the thrown" joked Stan

DB rolled his eyes ''Dude that joke is getting old.''

Yeah your right" said Stan

"So son what color do you like better white or red" asked DBs father

"Hehehe maybe he should ask the mommy" said Nichole

Nichole and Heidi were in slutty outfits laughing at DB and Stan while they try and pick up hot guys

''Let me get this straight, your trying to pick up hot guys in a baby store?'' Said Stan as Nichole and Heidi suddenly realized how stupid their idea was.

"Duhh we already flirted with a guy who is fucking tired of his nagging girl friend" said Nicholes

"YOU BITCH," yelled a random girl

"UH OH BYE" said the 2 girls

"Dumb bitch" said Stan

"Yeah what did you ever see in her" asked DB

"I don't know I thought black ment sexy but she's just a evil bitch" said Stan

Meanwhile at the abortion clinic

"I'm sorry red but your 3 months in so we can perform" said the nurse

END OF CHAPTER

WAIT CARTMANS NOT THE FATHER...THEN WHO IS

Ok folks we are taking a small break from typing co writers under the weather but I promise we will return in the future


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10 girl talk

Rated M for language and sex talk

Disclaimer I don't own South Park

Co written by RatherOddRanger

We take place in Bebes house where Red sat crying on Bebe's couch, she had nowhere else to turn too. Also present were Bebe (because it's her house), Wendy, Lola, Jenny, Annie, Esther and Emily.

''So your 3 months pregnant?'' Asked Emily in shock.

''Why do I feel like I'm getting a repeat performance in my house soon.'' Esther said death glaring at Lola.

''Ugh, I'm fucking your brother Esther, get used to it.'' Snarled Lola.

''Considering the alarming amounts of sex I've had with Stan recently I'll be amazed if I'm not knocked up.'' Mumbled Wendy.

"Well I'm sure Lola and Wendy are using protection…RIGHT," scolded Bebe

"Yeah duhh I use extra spermacide" said Lola

"I am on the pill and Stan uses those new skin tight condoms," said Wendy

"I am a whore A FUCKING WHORE" yelled red

"Well I'm pregnant too I mean only 2 months but yeah I am and I am not too depressed" said Annie

"Its not the same Annie you know who your baby daddy is but I have 3 fucking people who could be it" said red

"3 DAMN GIRL" said bebe

"Who" asked Wendy

"Well I slept with jimmy I remember that...I swear anything gives that guy a boner also token once and Clyde...weird I know Clyde HA" said red

"Uggh my asshole ex how long has that been going on" asked bebe

"Well he cheated on you with Nichole Heidi I sucked his dick once but its so small I thought I would bite it off" said red

"HAHAHAHAHA" all the girls laughed

"Ok Clyde's a better guy now sense he started dating Jessie" said Wendy

Back too the girls

''Wait ... That fucking a-hole, Clyde is dating my cousin Jessie!'' Lola shouted.

''Whoa! Since when?'' Asked Bebe, amazed Clyde had FINALLY moved on from her.

''Since the beginning of this month.'' Replied a angry Lola.

''But I did it with Clyde like over 2 months ago...'' Red mumbled.

''I've got it!'' Said Emily. ''Get an ultra scan and then the doctors can pin point the date of conception based on how far the baby has developed.''

''Might not help, I did it with Token, Bill and Fosse all at once.'' Replied Red.

''Jesus Christ...'' Mumbled Emily.

''And maybe Douglas before that.'' Mumbled Red.

''NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'' Scream Emily.

''Or was it Bluecap? They both look-alike to me.'' Said Red.

All of the girls stared at Red confused until Bebe spoke up.

''Red... Those two look NOTHING a like.'' Pointed out Esther.

"Well we can rule out Bluecap sense he's as straight as a circle" said bebe

"Yeah plus Stan Kyle and Kenny used a taser on me last time I tried" said red

Wendy and bebe then looked pissed

"What...I stopped afterwards uggh maybe guys are too much maybe I need a girlfriend" said red

" Wait you like girls" asked Lola

"Yeah I mean shit a good pussy on pussy action feels amazing" said red

Ester looked at red with spite but she didn't know why

"Well first we need too find out who your baby daddy is so that you don't have too raise this baby alone" said Wendy

"Hahaha if its token I think we will find out quick" said bebe

The girls all laughed

"Hey who wants pizza cause I am craving pizza with a lot of bacon and ham and relish" said Annie

"Oh and spinach yum" said red

"OH OH also sausage" said annie

"Ok can we please not let the 2 pregnant girls choose?" said Emily

"Haha yeah I mean we might as well get 6 mediums" said Wendy

"Well ok we have 1 veggie lovers 1 meat lovers 1 pineapple and anchovies…eww jenny, and 2 Prego orders haha," said Bebe

''Can we get some chicken in there?'' Asked Lola.

''Fuck just remembered my parents gave me buy one get one free coupons, girls we're eating nice tonight!'' Esther proclaimed!

"Haha I know where those are going into" said Bebe

**Meanwhile whilst the girls order pizza ...**

''Hmm ... when we have kids let's name our daughter Kylie.'' Said Bluecap as Kyle nearly dropped his drink.

''Wha?'' Kyle said wide-eyed.

"KIDS WHAT I mean its a little early for kids besides I don't want to adopt" said Kyle

"Then what surrogate" asked blue

"Well yeah I want to raise from the day it was born" said Kyle

"You can borrow my body if you want" said Emily

"Really I mean its early now I mean were only in our junior years" said Kyle

"Yeah but I have investments in 2 countries when I hit 18 we can buy anything we want for our kids" said Blue

"Yeah…ok" said Kyle

"What about Douglas" asked Stan "I mean is he cool with this" asked Stan

"Well he's off with Kenny and DB at some strip club uggh" said Wendy

"Yeah sorry I gave Kenny permission cause he has been such a good boyfriend I mean I didn't think he would take Douglas and DB" said bebe

"Its cool I mean DB is loyal plus he hates the smell of strippers" said Annie

Meanwhile

"Uggh that chick is ugly" said DB

"Holy shit is that cartmans mom" said Douglas

"Hi boys" said Mrs. cartman

**Back at the girls**

"Hey Wendy you bisexual right" asked ester

"He he yeah " said Wendy

"Well how do you know when you like a girl" asked ester

"Aww honey I think your cute but I'm engaged but I mean me and Stan are in our wild phase so if you want we can 3 way" said Wendy

"NO I might like...a girl" said ester

"Ohhhhh who is it" said Wendy

"NO its a secret ok I ain't saying" said ester

"Ohh your such a tease" said Wendy

''Look Wendy just respect my privacy, I'd hate for this person to find out before I was comfortable telling her.'' Esther said, worry evident in her voice.

Wendy simply nodded and high fived her friend as Emily angrily got her coat and shoes.

''GGGGRRRRR That Douglas, I'll show him, going to a strip club like that!'' Emily said angrily just as the trio of boys came home.

''A STRIP CLUB!?'' Emily shouted at Douglas.

''Ah nuts.'' Mumbled Douglas.

''Busted.'' DB said with a laugh as Annie just raised an eyebrow making him worry.

"Honey I am not mad but respect Emily when she scolds her boyfriend" said Annie

"Yes honey," said DB

"Dude letting you women scold you weak," said Kenny

"I love her and she can kick my ass," said DB

"Uggh you boys are such pigs looking at other girls titts what your girlfriends aren't good enough," said Wendy

''Relax girls it wasn't anything to write home about, all of the chicks were ugly and Cartman's mom was there.'' Said Kenny

''Emily babe I would never cheat on you, it's just I wanted to hang out with the guys, I've never really had friends being an orphan.'' Douglas said as he gave Emily a hug.

''Ah man that sucks.'' Said Kenny.

''Wait minute, Stan, Kyle, Bluecap?'' Bebe asked.

''Yeah.'' The three replied.

''HOW AND WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU GET INTO MY HOUSE!'' She yelled.

"Uhh bebe I know you just got off your period but they have been here the entire time," said Wendy

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"Ahh pizzas here…oh and we have 10 pizzas not 6" said jenny

END OF CHAPTER

HAHAHAHA that was funny we have some lemon in store for next chapter so I hope your ready hahaaha


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